The Horror of Rubber Gloves in Doctor’s Office

If you are a man over 50, you hate the sound of rubber gloves.  Digital exam coming up!  No problem, but I dread this procedure every year.  It rates right up there with a colonoscopy!  When I griped about the procedure to another doctor he said, “Do you think that’s my favorite part of my job?”

Anyway, on this one occasion something happened that not one person believed when I shared the story. Not one!

It was my routine six-month visit to my urologist when something extraordinary happened.  I was greeted at the office by one of his daughter’s dogs.    In the past, I was greeted by retrievers since my doctor was a bird hunter.

   I was assigned to room three and sat quietly reading a magazine when there was a knock on the door. The door opened and that new dog strolled in followed by the doctor. The doctor sat at his computer typing away while the dog curled up in a corner.   I thought to myself, this is weird sharing the room with a dog.

The doctor said my numbers were good. Great I thought. No procedure! WRONG!  As the doctor pulled on those squeaky rubber gloves, I noticed the dog quietly watching us from across the room.

   Okay, he said, get ready. That meant drop my drawers and lean up against the gurney. Before the doctor even had a chance to begin, that dog launched across the room like he’d been fired from a cannon.  His ice-cold nose targeted me right square in my butt!  I jumped up like a jack in the box!   For one terrifying second, I wasn’t sure who was performing the examination. The dog looked proud of himself.

The doctor, horrified, made a guttural sound something like, “Oat Oat, he never did that before! “I was horrified but started laughing at the shock of it all.  Then the doctor went silent like nothing happened.  Trust me, it happened!  I wouldn’t let it go.  I said, “Do you think he likes me?” Silence!  Strange, my doctor always chatted with me about hunting and fishing. Just silence.

 A year later, I asked about his daughter’s dog.   My doctor stiffened. Silence.  I was thinking about sending him a Valintine’s Day card I continued.  More silence. We decided to talk about deer hunting instead.  Everything turned back to normal

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